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祝你不幸！这位父亲的“毒鸡汤”为什么刷爆全世界朋友圈

约翰·罗伯茨/美国联邦最高法院第17任首席大法官董怿翎编译

2017-07-11 20:58

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美国联邦最高法院第17任首席大法官约翰·罗伯茨在儿子毕业典礼上演讲。视频编辑：董怿翎(07:49)

【编者按】

2017毕业演讲进入尾声，这段演讲一定是最励志的，励志中带着毒，演讲者没有像常规那样祝福学生们前程似锦，而是祝福他们遭遇不幸、痛苦、失败。

美国联邦最高法院第17任首席大法官约翰·罗伯茨（John G. Roberts Jr）自己都没想到，会以这样的方式一夜爆红。6月他受邀前往儿子初中毕业典礼发表致辞，这段感动全美的毕业致词被全世界社交网站疯狂刷屏。

《华盛顿邮报》甚至评论说：罗伯茨首席大法官本年度最好的作品，不是某个案子的判决书，而是在儿子毕业典礼上的致辞。

约翰 • 罗伯茨曾上《时代》封面。资料图

有必要认识下这位神奇老爸，约翰 • 罗伯茨（John G. Roberts Jr）， 1955年生于纽约州水牛城，在印第安纳州长大。童年时家境拮据，1971年罗伯茨考入哈佛大学，1976年，罗伯茨以第一名的成绩从哈佛法学院毕业。1979年，罗伯茨获得哈佛法学院法学博士学位。2005年9月，由布什提名，参议院批准通过，罗伯茨就任美国联邦最高法院第17任首席大法官。当时他仅有50岁，罗伯茨也是自1801年起两个世纪以来，美国最年轻的首席大法官。

罗伯茨与妻子育有一子一女，虽然都是他们领养的，但视如己出。当年布什总统宣布提名首席大法官时，罗伯茨时年4岁的小儿子杰克突然 “砸场子”，面对各大电视现场直播的关键时刻，显得尴尬又有趣。12年过去了，这位昔日淘气少年即将从 Cardigan Mountain School 毕业，学校毕业典礼请来了杰克老爸，首席大法官罗伯茨致辞，没想到这个老爸“借此上位

”

一夜爆红。

这位父亲没有祝福大家前程似锦，而是前路坎坷，不公，不幸，背叛，失败……句句扎心，却意外深得人心。

这是约翰·罗伯茨的演讲中文译文：

有人说，雨就像从天而来的五彩纸碎，所以今天上午上天也加入我们，一起庆祝这个美好的毕业典礼。

庆典继续进行前，毕业生，你们有个重要的任务要执行，因为你们身后有你们的父母和监护人。几年前，他们开车送你们来到卡迪根，帮助你们安顿下来，转过身又驶出了大门。这对他们来说是非凡的牺牲。他们沿着泪水之路开车回到一个比此前空旷和孤独的家。他们这样做，是因为他们知道这个教育决定是为了你们而作，不是为了他们。

这样的牺牲和他们所做的其它一切把你们带到了今天这个节点。但今天上午不只是为了你们庆祝，也是为了他们，所以请你们站起来转过身去给他们最热烈的掌声。

现在如果有人问我卡迪根的演讲如何，我可以说发言被掌声打断了。恭喜，2017届的毕业生。你们已经达到了一个重要的里程碑。你们生命中的一个重要阶段已经过去。但我很抱歉地告诉你们，这只是生命中最简单的阶段，书上也是这么说的。你们不仅是卡迪根的学生，也是一个重要国际社区的成员，我觉得这点需要特别指出。

今天在全国各地的大学、高中、中学，都有致词嘉宾站在不耐烦的毕业生面前。他们几乎总是说同样的话。他们会说今天是一场演练：“这是一个开始，而不是结束，你们应该向前看。”我觉得这样说很贴切，但是，如果你想弄清楚未来要走向何方，了解你的过去并回头看也很重要。我想如果你回忆在卡迪根的第一个下午，也许会记得你是孤单的。也许你会记得你有点害怕，有点焦虑。再看现在的你，周围都是被称为兄弟的朋友们，一起信心满满地面对下一阶段的教育。

值得思考的是为什么你能有今天的变化？当你这样做的时候，我想你可能会感恩同学们的支持，不管是在班级、操场或宿舍里。就信心而言，我觉得它的建立不是因为你做每件事都能成功，而是因为你在朋友的帮助下，不怕失败。如果你失败了，你站起来再试一次。如果你再失败，你就再试一次。如果下一次你还失败了，可能是时候考虑做别的事情了。但你走到今天不仅是因为那些成功，更因为你不怕失败。

通常致辞嘉宾都会祝你们好运并送上祝福，我不会这样做，但我会告诉你们为什么。

在接下来数年的时间里，我希望你们被不公平对待，如此一来，你们才知道公平正义的重要。

我希望你们遭遇背叛，你们才会学到忠诚的重要性。

很抱歉这么说，但我希望你们有时感到孤单，这样才不会把朋友的存在视为理所当然。

我希望你们三不五时就遭遇不幸，如此才能意识到几率和运气在人生中扮演的角色，了解到你的成功不完全是你所应得的，而他人的失败也不是他们所应得的结果。

当你们失败时，人生三不五时一定会有失败，我希望你的对手会对你的失败感到幸灾乐祸，让你们理解运动家精神的重要性。

我希望你们被忽视，如此才会知道聆听他人的重要性，我还希望你们遭遇足够的痛苦来学习同理心。

不管有没有这些“祝福”，我说的事情，未来终究会发生。

至于你们是否能从中获利，则取决于你们从不幸中获得某些讯息的能力。

毕业致词者通常会给学生一些建议。他们会给一些人生建议，也会给一些有用的小窍门。最常给的建议就是“做自己”。给你们这些都穿着同样毕业袍的人这样的建议实在有点怪，但你们确实应该做自己。只是你们得了解做自己的意义何在。除非你很完美，否则做自己不代表不改变。在某些状况来说，你不应该做自己，而是应该变成更好的人。大家要你做自己，是因为希望你们不要变成别人要你们改变的样子。但除非你们了解自己是谁，或思考过自己是谁，否则无法做自己。

希腊哲人苏格拉底说过，“未经自省的人生没有意义。”对某些事情而言，just do it 是不错的座右铭，但在你想明白自己想要什么样的人生之前，这个座右铭可不咋滴。要过美好生活的一个重要提示就是不要试图过“那个美好的生活”。最容易失去那些对你来说至关重要的价值观的方式，坦白地说，就是不要去想它们。

这是深刻的建议，还有一些你到新学校适用的技巧。过去几年，我对你们之中很多年轻人有了不错的了解，我知道你们是好小伙。但你们也是有幸的年轻人。如果你来这里时没有特权，现在也有了，因为你来过了这里。但我的建议是：不要表现出来。

当你到了新学校，走到正在耙叶子、铲雪或倒垃圾的人身边，向他们介绍自己。询问他们的名字，并在在校期间如此称呼他们。另一个建议：走路时身边经过不认识的人，微笑，看着他们的眼睛，打招呼。最糟糕的结果是，你会被称为那个老是笑着打招呼的年轻人，这并不是一个糟糕的开端。过去几年你们的校园里只有男生，但大多数人即将和女生一起上学。对这些人我没有任何建议。

我给你们的最后一个建议很简单，但我认为可能会对你的生活产生很大影响。每周一次，你应该给某人写个短笺。不是电子邮件，而是写在纸上的简短话语，只需要你花10分钟。问下家里的成年人，让他们告诉你什么是邮票。你可以把邮票贴在信封上。我重申，10分钟，每周一次。现在我会帮你。我来口述你应该写的第一个短笺。它会说：“亲爱的（填上卡迪根山中学一位老师的名字）。”接着写：“我开始在这所新学校上学了。英语课我们正在读（空白）。足球训练很辛苦，但我很享受。谢谢您对我的教导。”把它放进信封，贴上邮票然后寄出。这对于那些因为各种原因致力于中学男生教育的人来说意义重大。就像我说的，这只需要你每周10分钟时间。

到学年结束时，你已经向40人寄出短笺。因为你，有40个人会觉得自己有点特别，他们也会觉得你很特别。没有其他人会在你在校期间携带那样的红利。

说了够多的建议，我想朗读一些重要的歌词来结尾。我之前引用了希腊哲学家苏格拉底的话。而这些歌词来自伟大的美国哲学家鲍勃·迪伦。大约50年前，迪伦想念正在旅途中的儿子，为他作了词。它列出父母对儿子和女儿的希望。它们也是每个孩子的目标。这些愿望是美好的，永恒的。它们是普世的。它们也是真实的，除了一个给了这首歌曲标题和副歌的愿望。这个愿望是父母的挽歌。这不是一个好愿望。

以下歌词来自鲍勃·迪伦的《永远年轻》：

愿上帝庇佑护你前路

愿你美梦均可成真

愿你与人为善相互扶持

愿你建成通往群星的天梯

稳妥沿它而上

愿你永远年轻

愿你成为正直之人

愿你成就真实自我

愿你永远感知真理

看向身边无尽光明

愿你勇敢无惧坚强可靠

愿你永远年轻拥有纯洁之心

愿你双手永远忙碌

愿你脚步永远轻盈

在变故横生之时愿你根基牢靠

愿你心中永远充满快乐

愿你的歌声永远嘹亮

愿你永远年轻

谢谢。

知道你英语好，为你附上英文原文：

Thank you very much.

Rain, somebody said, is like confetti from heaven. So even the heavens are celebrating this morning, joining the rest of us at this wonderful commencement ceremony. Before we go any further, graduates, you have an important task to perform because behind you are your parents and guardians. Two or three or four years ago, they drove into Cardigan, dropped you off, helped you get settled and then turned around and drove back out the gates. It was an extraordinary sacrifice for them. They drove down the trail of tears back to an emptier and lonelier house. They did that because the decision about your education, they knew, was about you. It was not about them. That sacrifice and others they made have brought you to this point. But this morning is not just about you. It is also about them, so I hope you will stand up and turn around and give them a great round of applause. Please.

Now when somebody asks me how the remarks at Cardigan went, I will be able to say they were interrupted by applause. Congratulations, class of 2017. You’ve reached an important milestone. An important stage of your life is behind you. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you it is the easiest stage of your life, but it is in the books. While you’ve been at Cardigan, you have all been a part of an important international community as well. And I think that needs to be particularly recognized.

[Roberts gave brief remarks in other languages.]

Now around the country today at colleges, high schools, middle schools, commencement speakers are standing before impatient graduates. And they are almost always saying the same things. They will say that today is a commencement exercise. ‘It is a beginning, not an end. You should look forward.’ And I think that is true enough, however, I think if you’re going to look forward to figure out where you’re going, it’s good to know where you’ve been and to look back as well. And I think if you look back to your first afternoon here at Cardigan, perhaps you will recall that you were lonely. Perhaps you will recall that you were a little scared, a little anxious. And now look at you. You are surrounded by friends that you call brothers, and you are confident in facing the next step in your education.

It is worth trying to think why that is so. And when you do, I think you may appreciate that it was because of the support of your classmates in the classroom, on the athletic field and in the dorms. And as far as the confidence goes, I think you will appreciate that it is not because you succeeded at everything you did, but because with the help of your friends, you were not afraid to fail. And if you did fail, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, it might be time to think about doing something else. But it was not just success, but not being afraid to fail that brought you to this point.

Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.

Now commencement speakers are also expected to give some advice. They give grand advice, and they give some useful tips. The most common grand advice they give is for you to be yourself. It is an odd piece of advice to give people dressed identically, but you should — you should be yourself. But you should understand what that means. Unless you are perfect, it does not mean don’t make any changes. In a certain sense, you should not be yourself. You should try to become something better. People say ‘be yourself’ because they want you to resist the impulse to conform to what others want you to be. But you can’t be yourself if you don't learn who are, and you can’t learn who you are unless you think about it.

The Greek philosopher Socrates said, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’ And while ‘just do it’ might be a good motto for some things, it’s not a good motto when it’s trying to figure out how to live your life that is before you. And one important clue to living a good life is to not to try to live thegood life. The best way to lose the values that are central to who you are is frankly not to think about them at all.

So that’s the deep advice. Now some tips as you get ready to go to your new school. Over the last couple of years, I have gotten to know many of you young men pretty well, and I know you are good guys. But you are also privileged young men. And if you weren’t privileged when you came here, you are privileged now because you have been here. My advice is: Don’t act like it.

When you get to your new school, walk up and introduce yourself to the person who is raking the leaves, shoveling the snow or emptying the trash. Learn their name and call them by their name during your time at the school. Another piece of advice: When you pass by people you don’t recognize on the walks, smile, look them in the eye and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will become known as the young man who smiles and says hello, and that is not a bad thing to start with.

You’ve been at a school with just boys. Most of you will be going to a school with girls. I have no advice for you.

The last bit of advice I’ll give you is very simple, but I think it could make a big difference in your life. Once a week, you should write a note to someone. Not an email. A note on a piece of paper. It will take you exactly 10 minutes. Talk to an adult, let them tell you what a stamp is. You can put the stamp on the envelope. Again, 10 minutes, once a week. I will help you, right now. I will dictate to you the first note you should write. It will say, ‘Dear [fill in the name of a teacher at Cardigan Mountain School].’ Say: ‘I have started at this new school. We are reading [blank] in English. Football or soccer practice is hard, but I’m enjoying it. Thank you for teaching me.’ Put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and send it. It will mean a great deal to people who — for reasons most of us cannot contemplate — have dedicated themselves to teaching middle school boys. As I said, that will take you exactly 10 minutes a week. By the end of the school year, you will have sent notes to 40 people. Forty people will feel a little more special because you did, and they will think you are very special because of what you did. No one else is going to carry that dividend during your time at school.

Enough advice. I would like to end by reading some important lyrics. I cited the Greek philosopher Socrates earlier. These lyrics are from the great American philosopher, Bob Dylan. They’re almost 50 years old. He wrote them for his son, Jesse, who he was missing while he was on tour. It lists the hopes that a parent might have for a son and for a daughter. They’re also good goals for a son and a daughter. The wishes are beautiful, they’re timeless. They’re universal. They’re good and true, except for one: It is the wish that gives the song its title and its refrain. That wish is a parent’s lament. It’s not a good wish. So these are the lyrics from Forever Young by Bob Dylan:

May God bless you and keep you always

May your wishes all come true

May you always do for others

And let others do for you

May you build a ladder to the stars

And climb on every rung

And may you stay forever young

May you grow up to be righteous

May you grow up to be true

May you always know the truth

And see the lights surrounding you

May you always be courageous